Leaning on prayer and positivity in this mess 

I'm starting to not want to do this anymore. 

I've been bothered.

I think I'm a pretty cool person and put in a lot of effort to socialize and meet and greet. Talk to new folks or whatever. 

I feel like I'm standing on the sidewalk staring in. Shit sucks majorly. Like what's the point of me going to these lifestyle gatherings. 

What's the point of you can't socialize and have discussions with like-minded individuals and live a closet life around the clock. 

October 12, 2015

Today has been a day of many lessons and many thoughts:

Creativity, holidays, days off, vid collage, 100 sentences, closet bed, red ombré lips, eat more veggies, hand swollen, ass jiggles, imagination, exercise, floetry, stadium tour, daily picture, Dallas Cowboys, do Not forget, tasks

When He is away I get in the funkiest moods. 

I become somewhat of a rebel, with no care of the consequences that may occur when He returns. 

Sad. Upset. Scared.

Alone. Thinking that when He comes back I don't know when I'll see Him because He isn't coming "home" to me. Yesterday, I had a daydream that I was at the airport, awaiting His arrival. I remember feeling so excited when I saw Him. Falling into His arms. 

In the mood for love

http://youtu.be/Y0XYZNx6854

It seems a bit challenging to allocate time. I've noticed that I've neglected blogs and posts. Sometimes it's life or either lack of interests. Regardless I want to improve by focusing more on the lifestyles. I get out what I put in and in order to continue to grow I need to step it up.

Come inside my luv