my Purpose

my Dom if i could give Him everthing i would.  i want to make His dreams come ture, His fantasies a relaity, His wishes a memory that He would continue to replay in His mind.  i feel like singing Luther Vandross right now and telling Him "if this world were mine". It hurts when i can't be there to satify His every need.  sometimes i feel like a useless sub like wut is my purpose if i cant b there to satisfy His desires.  i don't like this feeling.  i know that He doesn't think this way but i'm just venting. i'm just feeling worthless at the moment.  i'll get over it.  As soon as i receive praise from my obedience or completing a task for Daddy i will fill up with joy. i try to think of different ways that i can satisfy him other than sexually. my mind (my intellect), my spirit (caring), my conversation (connection). Daddy said that he wanted to see me once a month, it's only the middle of November and I have seen Him twice so far and still i feel like that is not enough.  Ugh!!  i don't know if i want to cry or slap myself for not living closer but its really not my fault. i just have to deal and not be so hard on myself.  technology sure makes things a lot better. Thank goodness for webcams.  well my work day is almost over perhaps when i'm in a better mood i can share my weekend and meeting my sub sister.  Till next time....