Fuck! (your ass is grass)

I forgot my bag yesterday and as soon as I realized what I had done I looked at Master and let the words out. What bag He asked *silence*
I'm really stuck on stupid and I keep thinking about that cane in the car. At this point I can't even hold a conversation all I can say is I can't believe I forgot my bag. The bag I've been carrying with me everywhere I go for the past seven months with all the items Master tells me to put in it, dildos, plugs, pins, bullets, everything. Of all days to forget, I forget when Master arrives. No excuses;I don't even have one.
Trying not to think of what Master has in store for me is real hard. It doesn't matter at this point. I deserve it. I deserve to be punished for forgetting and for having so much time in between the last time Master saw me. My mind is racing trying to figure out if He will take it easy on me since it is my first time. It's been a few weeks since the the last time I was punished but then I remembered, there is no way I will ever forget those rubber bands.

He keeps smiling but I already know. *nervous grin*

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Getting back to work

Today was good. Yesterday I expressed to Master my thoughts and the reasons why I thought I was all over the place. Fact is I have work to do but talking about it made me feel better. So today I actually got some work done instead of texting ALL day. I did text a bit but I kept my hands on the keyboard majority of the time :) I just have to break this text-habit.
I like how I can discuss anything with Master about how I am feeling, what I am thinking small or big. Discussing with Him and then seeing things from His point of view always seem so simple and there really was never even a reason for me to act so damn silly; letting my thoughts manifest a whole bunch of nothing.
Work is still crazy but hey...I wasn't thinking about it too much just stayed focused on what I had to do.

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Training/Fisting

I need my ass fucked. I want this cum hole dripping wet so bad my mouth is watering wanting to suck His dick get it nice and wet ready to slide in.
Each time I try to push myself further with my fisting, go deeper. Surprised my nails don't bother me (hmm I need a manicure) anyway I'm loving it. I love the way I feel afterwards I feel like I just want to be used very well offer this hole for His enjoyment.
Two hours later and my pussy is still leaking. Jealous hoe :) Like damn didn't Ms. Kitty just squirt like three times the other day. It's time for my ass to have fun now. Yes!!!

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I think

So I finally figured it out. I think I realized what my problem is. On top of everything going on I realized I hardly talk to Master as much as I used to. That's not the main reason why I've been all over the place but that's a good part of it. I miss Him. O/our conversations throughout the day kinda like stopped but not completely stopped but...oh well I'll just deal with it. Now since I know what was bothering me I can better preoccupy my time. Do some work instead of spacing off all bummed out. I can't even imagine if I didn't talk to Him at all O_O YIKES!! I just stare out my phone like damn, no text. Nothing. Sometimes I just try to apace between the time W/we exchange communication. I need someone to text during the day but everyone is busy or they have boring communication. Ugh!

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On Mute

So much for not writing a blog. I just have a lot if thoughts I want to get out but I can't get my thoughts together to express them correctly and once said you can't takw them back. I keep forgetting things. Simple things, taking vitamins, drinking tea, I hardly eat all my breakfast, snack, or drink enough water. I really don't know what energy I am running off of. I just sit at work dazed mind going 95. I'm trying to figure our what the problem is week 2. Two weeks ago something changed and whatever it was it was a catalyst to all this negative energy surrounding me like black smoke. I don't even smile on the outside to mask what I an feeling anymore. I just said fuck it. I keep reaching for attempts to enjoy myself and have a good time but it is always shirt lived.
Sitting here forcing myself to eat breakfast prolly will just eat toast and eggs nibbled on a piece of pineapple. Not even hungry. I think I'm done.
I just want to turn my cell off and why myself away from the everyone and the world wide web. But I know Master will not be pleased if I disconnect communication with Him. I did that before when I intentionally broke my phone without thinking of the outcome. I was so dramatic*rme*. Now I'm debating with myself if I should turn it off or not. Maybe I'll turn it on silent. Maybe I should leave it in the car. Maybe I should leave it at home for a day. Maybe I should....who am I kidding I won't do any of these things. This sucks my savior to forget everything the gym, I can't go to today cause I have to get a car. I swear I want to be knocked upside my head to forget all of this. Great the thought of being smacked around has my pussy wet :-/

I think I know how she felt :-( is this karma.

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Hmmm idk...

I dont think I should blog until my spirit is in the right place. I have to tackle this negativity. It sucks, I had some good thoughts I wanted to share but I'm not in the right place to write them.

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I feel so much better. I spent all day car shopping didn't find anything but I am not feeling like a sour puss.
My mind is saying I need to be doing something and my body is telling me that I'm tired. No matter what my body and mind is telling me I'm going to listen to Master because He gave me specific instructions on what to do tonight.
I was thinking positive today and whenever some negativity tried to come into my mind I ninja assassined that shit to non-existence.
Feeling good

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