Pep in my step

I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. I have alot of time on my hands. Alot. During the day I focus on work and trying to resolve issues during business hours. During the night I am, as one of my twitter followers said "idle". O_O Uh-oh. 

I  find myself getting into things that I probably shouldn't. I try my best to stay off social sites and that did not work. I stay up all night and wake up at the last minute resulting in me rushing around. 

My entire schedule has changed. I don't have any structure. I have to get that back in my life. I have to get back to organization. I have to get back to the gym. My eating habits are off. When I do eat, which has been barely for the past week. Forcing myself to eat at least twice a day. Well at least once. For example,I'm not hungry now, I drank some juice earlier and I am still full. When I get stressed I lose my appetite, become moody and highly irritable. I will just take one day at a time. 

I worry about so many not just myself. I wonder how He is doing. W/we text but the amount of communication is so minute I can hold it in my hands. It makes me sad but I don't think there is much I can do about it all the way down here. I suppose it is what it is. 

Friends and family can be so draining. Right now I feel like that person, that friend, that bestie that is always there to be a shoulder to lean to be there to pick up the pieces and sweep up the crumbs; not even noticed neglected in a sense. Kind of like oh damn we forgot to let the dog in during the snow blizzard type thing. If maybe once in a while my fam and friends say how are you or say good morning. I'm starting to get that "I'm just not that into you" feeling from everyone. 

Regardless I still go about my days smiling for the camera phones, walking into work with a little less pep in my step. I keep reminding myself I shouldnt take it personal.