I wanted him to make love to me but he treated me like the slut that I am

Old Post (October 28, 2012)

Sometimes I wonder if I'm enough.

Old Post (August 2012)

Looking at my pics in my phone and I am think of the memories that we have. The firsts that we created.  The steps to build levels of trust.  The time to observe and understand the other person is not short.  I am ready to be patient and invest.

Old post (July 9, 2012)

I am slowly finding out things about Him that I did not know. It just makes me appreciate even more every little thing He does. The meaning behind an act. Words aren't just words. There is a purpose. A purpose that I have patience to find out what it is.
He is here through the not so good. His energy calms me and I am at peace even long after our time together has ended. I leave Him refreshed. Life.
I listen to every word. You are more to me than just sex.

So much has changed

Not the inspiration I wanted

Just read her blog and I remember how I did not exactly trust her.  Well maybe I should not use the word trust.  I'll say, I thought she had motives that she refused to confess, even when confronted.  I never got the answers to my questions but I truly believe that my intuitions were right.  They could be wrong. I don't know.  I am almost tempted to text her and bluntly ask her. Instead, I put my phone down.  No need to rustle feathers.  It is pointless.  Yet still, I have to know if was right.  Just knowing that I read her and the situation correctly.  Again, why in the heck should I care now.  After all of this time, it makes no matter to me.  But it does, because if I didn't care, I wouldn't be thinking or writing about it.  Well at least I am not obsessing over it like I was at first.

But why? Why did I read her blog.  Initially, I thought it would give me some type of inspiration or move me into a direction to write my own blog.  (not what I imagined). Instead, I remembered all of the old feelings and ideas from when her writings were published.  -_-

I was instructed to write a blog but I am not sure what to write about.  I have been so selfish and not sharing my experiences over the past year.  I have a number of experiences that I could  blog but I don't want to share those.  So that leaves me blank.  There are so many things going on right now.  So many things that I am trying to get accomplished.  Top priorities are a promotion at work, find a new residence, and reach for a better quality of life while planning for my future.

Future! What is in the cards for my future?