pissed the fuck off

ok so this is not a blog about my Daddy. this is a blog about me getting emotional. i am so fucking pissed off right now because i can't get what i want. can't have my cake and eat it too is what they say. i am so enraged i can feel the heat from my pussy inside my thigh. my chest is tight. that little fucked (not my Dom) can't give me what i want nor will he allow me to have it. that bitch. i have never been this mad my lips are pursed so tight they are starting to tingle. y the fuck is my pussy so hot now would be the time to have some makeup sex but that is not going to happen. my fingers are tingling and my chest is so tight i need to post and get some fresh air and water.

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random goodness

thank goodness for technology. i mean really i am so glad that i get to see Daddy face now before i go to sleep.  allowing Him to watch me as i put on my sexy next to nothings and bend over touch my toes (dont bend the knees) for Him.  mmmm so glad, so glad. i miss Him so much but this makes it so much easier to cope. to see Daddy's face when He talks to me and see His smile when He is pleased with my tasks.  oooh i love it when He bites His bottom lip; damn i wish i was there to taste them.  keep having flashbacks of my birthday to hear those words from Daddy "I never had a weekend like this before" was music to my ears.  i hope i can keep giving Daddy good times and great memories while W/we are together.  already started working on Daddy coming to see me.  can't wait...................................... Oh.  i'm back just had a flashback when Daddy said my pussy was soooo tight.  i didn't share too much of that in my last blog was trying to keep it all to myself.  i mean damn i don't even remember how many times we fucked not like i was counting but dag i would normally remember. i forgot after four or five that first night.  He really is a hummingbird.  i know i said it before but the entire weekend was good laughs, great intellectual conversation, and YES amazing sex. 
i love it when Daddy puts his hands in all my hair and pulls as hard as He wants appreciating my naturalness.  when the summer time come i will have to rock out my jill scott look just for Him. i fantasize of me being kneeled and washing His legs and feet in the shower then suddenly He grabs a handful of my natural curls and fucks my mouth and i love it  mmmm, can't wait! cant wait! cant wait! if i keep this up im gonna have flashbacks and fantasies all night and won't get any rest for work tomorrow. 
can't wait to go to work tomorrow i already know that talking to Daddy is gonna make me start bouncing on my seat. i hope that it wont be a busy work day, phone ringing off the hook  cuz i'm gonna have to say "bitch pay your taxes and stop fucking up my wet daydream". lol. yeah i am going to get that piercing to work my clit for times like these.
i get the biggest kool-aid smile on my face throughout the day everytime Daddy praises me and says that i am being a good sub and that i am being a good girl.  wish i was with Him so that he couldd caress the nape of my neck or rub my cheek when He says it but i am just happy to know that He is pleased with me. damn another flash back after this and i'm going to post.  just thought about when Daddy pushed my legs so far back i felt like i was in the position to give birth instead he was pushing his Daddy dick so far up inside me i never wanted Him to take His beautiful dick out.  flipped me over and .... (pause) WTF  now my dog is snoring.  okay i am going to have to take this flashback to bed with me tonight and play with the gift that Daddy gave me for my birthday.  Good Night. 

Whippany, NJ

Good is good, great is great and then there is amazing. That is the feeling I had this weekend. Daddy and I had so much fun together. We talked, we laughed, and we ate. We understand one another, we appreciate one another. We learned from one another. When he talks I listen and learn. I respect his mind, his thoughts. Thinking of him now puts a smile on my face.
I trust him with all of me. Mind soul and body. My body Mmm Mmm Mmm. Daddy made my body experience pleasures I never have and never thought I could reach. (sigh) I wish daddy's hands were on my body right now. Got to stay focused. Daddy took care of me. I wanted to please daddy and make him proud of me. Whatever daddy's desires were I fulfilled them when he allowed me too. My toes are curling right now from the memories. (deep exhale)
I want to make sure daddy has and is taken care of. I want daddy to be happy so much that when I took a shower I dried my body with a small hand towel so that my daddy could have the last large one. I don't think he knew all of that but he knows now once he reads this.
I was sad when it was time for me to leave, knowing I would not be able to give daddy ALL of me. My body longs to fulfill all of daddy's desires til the next time that I see him. I hope real soon but until then he has my mind and soul.
One more thing. Where the hell is Whippany, New Jersey. LOL I'll never forget it.

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Friday, October 22, 2010

This date, this stamp in time will be remembered.  This is the day that I have been waiting for the past few weeks.  Today I am meeting the man that I am giving myself to.  The man that I trust with my fears and insecurities.

Today is the beginning of my weekend training. This weekend I will open up and be myself completely. I will be humble and I am ready to learn and grow with my Dom.

It feels like such a long wait but patience was necessary.  I’m like a new college student ready to learn and looking forward to the experiences that await me.  I am so excited to finally see him, feel him.  To hear his voice and watch his lips move as the words come out. To put a smile on his face because he likes what he sees in front of him.  I feel like I am being reunited with a loved one that I lost connection with in the past and I am eager to start over and rebuild.

I want to get a better understanding of this lifestyle and be able to put all my readings into perspective and relate with my own experiences which I will later share.

Although I may not get an answer so soon; I want to understand the reason for our connection and our overall purpose for coming together.

My readings

So before our demise my Dom asked me to post a blog about my readings and thoughts on BDSM.

The readings that my Dom sent to me were intriguing. The first site He sent to me was an introduction of BDSM, and the question was asked can you be a sub. Although my interest was sparked by this new discovery I wasn't sure if I had what it took to be submissive but I was hoping that I did. After reading through the submissive creed and 100 rules of a submissive I wanted more. My hunger for more knowledge increased. I wanted to learn more and experience.
Soulcast.com was my next reading. At first when I read the blog of a sub being whored out to her Doms friend I was so scared for her. Then I remembered that a patient, caring, and gentle Dom would never put his sub in harms way. My mind was at ease when I realized the connection and trust between the Dom and his sub. I was glad that she was able to please her Dom and wanted to establish a bond like one they had.
After reading a friends blog I felt happiness, love, and joy. Never once did I feel scared or fear from the few blogs that I read. I felt like I could relate to her with my family and work life. My mind was at ease knowing that I could have similar experiences and stories as she did. My mind was at ease and I was ready and willing to submit.

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