So the day has finally come. I was celebrating for the longest time. My divorce has been granted. Although I am saddened only by the fact that another family unit is not together. I don't understand why Americans think this is okay.
Quite frankly I do not believe in divorce I'm what you call a "Ride or Die" chick, lol. Regardless, of that fact, I am divorced and I am Happy to be. I am free to be me. Live my life and express myself without being ashamed or treated negatively. Freedom. Liberated.
So today I took my little ladies and myself to dinner. Elegant and nice. Veggies, potatoes, crab cakes, and Pinot Grigio:-) my celebration dinner. Divorced.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Everyone Has A Limit
You left nothing but space and opportunity. Unprotected, open, and alone. Now I'm gone.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
MoodSwings
When I woke up:
My body yearns for Him. My ears yearn to hear His voice. My nipples are tingling just from the thought of pressing against Him when W/we embrace. My tongue is dancing in my mouth imaging it is tasting His tongue. Tasting and sucking His saliva.
3 hours later:
Why can't I get a phone call. Why can't I get a picture. Not worthy I suppose. I'll just dig into my memory crate again. Dig into that moment of time. How many memories do I have left?
My body yearns for Him. My ears yearn to hear His voice. My nipples are tingling just from the thought of pressing against Him when W/we embrace. My tongue is dancing in my mouth imaging it is tasting His tongue. Tasting and sucking His saliva.
3 hours later:
Why can't I get a phone call. Why can't I get a picture. Not worthy I suppose. I'll just dig into my memory crate again. Dig into that moment of time. How many memories do I have left?
Monday, February 27, 2012
Damp
Am I the only one that sits at my desk and just feel the wetness tickle my lips as it gushes out and absorbs in my panties. Sexy feeling
Date Night
With permission from Master, I went out on a date with a very good friend and I really enjoyed myself. Here is a recap.
Made plans for dinner and a movie. As usual when I got there he wasn't dressed talking bout he had to see what I was wearing. I had on some black leggings my grey boots a black tee and a pullover grey/black sweater. My hair was freshly done my eyebrows freshly threaded. I'll say I was looking cute. So while slow poke got dressed I jumped on the computer and purchased the tickets for the Tyler Perry movie cause it was opening weekend and I knew it would be crazy not to get them in advance. My buddy was ready I had to comment on the little bit of grey he put on. Lol pretty boy Kappa. Cool we are out. So on the ride there I had to listen to all of his dates he had the past week and he asked my advice and opinions on all the chicks he has an interest in. Blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda our usual conversation that we have. He always telling me his stories but I never tell him mine. I don't know if he can handle it. The rawness. Will he judge me? At this point I shouldn't worry about that but I do think about it.
Well we cruised and went to like four restaurants searching for a short wait time. We settled for some pizza. Sat there, ate, checked out girls that walked by. He critiqued their ass I critiqued their face. "Look to your left look at her ass" game. That was fun. Hit up the dollar store to buy candy to smuggle into the theatre. Of course the parking lot was packed but when he was dropping me off at the door we got a close one. Now look at this long ass line they probably sold out. No worries we good. Another line? Really? You would have thought we were seeing Harry Potter the way the police were out patrolling. Smh. Anyway, "Good Deeds", good movie go see it. Exiting stage left he grabbed my hands and put them in his crotch. Wtf why is your dick so hard right now? Of all times? Grrr. I'm horny as hell and I know he gonna fuck the shit out of me later.
For some reason when I left the movies a sadness came over me. I thought of Him. I had several different thoughts then I played words with friends and cleared my mind. Got back to the house and let Master know I was in for the night. Sat up with my date and watched part of the Dr. King movie and listened to all of his fun history facts :) I fell asleep in my fav spot on the couch under my fav blanket. He woke me up then I slid to my side of the bed. Then I was in the middle of the bed, top of the bed, and the bottom. Got back up watched some more of Dr. King movie (cause you know it's like 6 hours, lol). Till he said lets go to sleep. I think it was like 4am. Knowing good and well we both had to go to church in the morning and I had to go back to Baltimore. I pin curled my hair and took my ass to sleep. I slept like a baby. I was so relaxed. I didn't even want to get up the next morning. He woke me up at the last minute now I'm rushing. I didn't have time to make breakfast this time. Ugh I'll have to stop at Starbuck's. We both got dressed in Sunday's best but I was mad he didn't wake me up earlier, I wanted to get fucked again. :( got damn it.
Well I am glad my weekend turned out okay and ended well.
Thank You Daddy
Made plans for dinner and a movie. As usual when I got there he wasn't dressed talking bout he had to see what I was wearing. I had on some black leggings my grey boots a black tee and a pullover grey/black sweater. My hair was freshly done my eyebrows freshly threaded. I'll say I was looking cute. So while slow poke got dressed I jumped on the computer and purchased the tickets for the Tyler Perry movie cause it was opening weekend and I knew it would be crazy not to get them in advance. My buddy was ready I had to comment on the little bit of grey he put on. Lol pretty boy Kappa. Cool we are out. So on the ride there I had to listen to all of his dates he had the past week and he asked my advice and opinions on all the chicks he has an interest in. Blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda our usual conversation that we have. He always telling me his stories but I never tell him mine. I don't know if he can handle it. The rawness. Will he judge me? At this point I shouldn't worry about that but I do think about it.
Well we cruised and went to like four restaurants searching for a short wait time. We settled for some pizza. Sat there, ate, checked out girls that walked by. He critiqued their ass I critiqued their face. "Look to your left look at her ass" game. That was fun. Hit up the dollar store to buy candy to smuggle into the theatre. Of course the parking lot was packed but when he was dropping me off at the door we got a close one. Now look at this long ass line they probably sold out. No worries we good. Another line? Really? You would have thought we were seeing Harry Potter the way the police were out patrolling. Smh. Anyway, "Good Deeds", good movie go see it. Exiting stage left he grabbed my hands and put them in his crotch. Wtf why is your dick so hard right now? Of all times? Grrr. I'm horny as hell and I know he gonna fuck the shit out of me later.
For some reason when I left the movies a sadness came over me. I thought of Him. I had several different thoughts then I played words with friends and cleared my mind. Got back to the house and let Master know I was in for the night. Sat up with my date and watched part of the Dr. King movie and listened to all of his fun history facts :) I fell asleep in my fav spot on the couch under my fav blanket. He woke me up then I slid to my side of the bed. Then I was in the middle of the bed, top of the bed, and the bottom. Got back up watched some more of Dr. King movie (cause you know it's like 6 hours, lol). Till he said lets go to sleep. I think it was like 4am. Knowing good and well we both had to go to church in the morning and I had to go back to Baltimore. I pin curled my hair and took my ass to sleep. I slept like a baby. I was so relaxed. I didn't even want to get up the next morning. He woke me up at the last minute now I'm rushing. I didn't have time to make breakfast this time. Ugh I'll have to stop at Starbuck's. We both got dressed in Sunday's best but I was mad he didn't wake me up earlier, I wanted to get fucked again. :( got damn it.
Well I am glad my weekend turned out okay and ended well.
Thank You Daddy
Monday, February 20, 2012
How the fuck did I let this happen. Lol. Oh wow. I really do trip myself out sometimes. I suppose if I behaved like a robot I would get into less "trouble". Then that wouldn't be fun. ;-) I will continue to do me until I feel it is necessary to stop right now I don't think that point has come. It may be near but it hasn't come yet so in the mean time..."PUTTING MY CUPS UP"!
When folks start to wonder
When I see something that I don't like or when I learn about something that I particularly don't want to know. Just know that I won't say shit I'll just act out. My actions and behavior will scream attitude.
2/19/2012
Am I really cut out for this? I feel like the attorney from the secretary movie. I chilled with my friend yesterday and I'm glad he keeps it real. But as I laid there telling Jay about Dee his words hit me like a ton of bricks. "Why would you try and be something that you are not?" I wanted to cry.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Trust
My trust is not something I give out to whomever walks in and out of my life. I trust people to a certain extent and then it doesn't go beyond that.
Maybe it is the Scorpio in me I don't know; but I am a very fickle person. There are things a person can say, do, or even wear that will turn me completely off. The matter at hand is trust. In my relationships dealing with the opposite sex I trust an individual based on what they have shown me. This one I don't trust enough to share anything about me from the fear of being judged and losing a friend. That one I don't trust from fear of having no discretion. This one over here I don't trust cause a seed is planted in my brain that permits be from going 100. What I don't know is what takes all the sense of security away. Then there is this one I fear I will be caught up in some shit. When I don't fully trust I am withdrawn, shy and less vocal. Closed
Maybe it is the Scorpio in me I don't know; but I am a very fickle person. There are things a person can say, do, or even wear that will turn me completely off. The matter at hand is trust. In my relationships dealing with the opposite sex I trust an individual based on what they have shown me. This one I don't trust enough to share anything about me from the fear of being judged and losing a friend. That one I don't trust from fear of having no discretion. This one over here I don't trust cause a seed is planted in my brain that permits be from going 100. What I don't know is what takes all the sense of security away. Then there is this one I fear I will be caught up in some shit. When I don't fully trust I am withdrawn, shy and less vocal. Closed
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
Hold you down
I just feel like there is nothing more that I can do but stand by and be as much support as possible. Be the strength when needed, be the nurturer when needed, be that boost ; that hope. Faith. Not a day goes by that I don't think what more can I do. Nothing never comes to mind. Just being there when needed is enough to offer.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Dangerous Mind
So far today while at work I ate breakfast then text my life away. I popped my breasts out and snapped pics while sitting at my desk. Told my friend how horny I was. Went to the restroom and made a vid then sent to Master. The vid composed of sucking my nipples, they were really soft by the way. Fingering myself and sucking, licking, and living the taste. Sat here and watched my vid while turning some frames into photos. Tools some regular shots and put on Facebook but of course my expression had fuck me all over it do the pic was subtly naught. Can't say I did much of any work today but I am leaving in an hour so I can go pack to get ready for my weekend. I think when I get home I will masturbate first that way I will have self control while staying at my friends house :(
That feeling
I think I need a companion (boyfriend) or whatever you want to call it. Oh wait I have a couple of those. Well I need someone that understands my ins and outs and vice versa. Have fun, chill, watch movies, critique porn, ride out, get low, all that good shit. I don't need all that mushiness but I will accept it if it is given. Just have someone so that I can sen out that notification sorry I have a b/f now. *sighs* Yeah
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
I dub thee
On this 32nd day of 2012, during this 23rd hour, I His cumslut, His property, His bitch, His slave, His creation, His freakenstein, or whatever He wishes to call me. I dub thee SandMan. SandMan, your magical powers has graced this here fine earth for decades and I know you will continue your fine work for many more. Your strength to keep going when all of your comrades have died out shows and proves to me that you WILL keep going until your mission has been completed. No job is too messy, no job is too big or small you are always prepared. So tonight Mr SandMan when I go to sleep and fantasize of you conspiring with my dear Master, I know that when I awake, with you through Him I can live out my dreams. I humbly thank you in advance. *blows kisses*
To Do List
So the past month I have been apart of discussions and have read the opinions and view of others regarding sexual behavior regarding anal pleasure for men.
There have been times when I have wanted to stick my finger inside of a man’s ass (soooo bad) while sucking his balls or while sucking his dick but I refrained from doing so because I didn’t know how they would respond and I did not want to kill the mood. I have viewed videos on milking/massaging the male prostate. This is something that I am interested in trying. I just don’t know anyone who would let me do it. One male told me that it demasculinizes the manhood to receive pleasure from any type of object being inserted inside the anus. I don’t think so.
First off if a male, straight, bi, or gay allowed me to do anything like this no one would never know but him and I. I am very discreet and I think it would be wrong for me to say “yeah girl he let me fist his ass”. Most of my friends don’t even know my current lifestyle now. The ones that do know they just know that I am a slave but they don’t know what it involves. I don’t sit around and say hey I do this and that. When I do speak of my lifestyle I mostly find myself explaining to people the mental aspect of it and the fulfillment I receive and at the end they say, “whatever makes you happy”, end of story.
Most men say “If a man will take a finger up the ass then at some point they will want more, that is gay”. “If a man likes his ass licked, that is gay”. “If a man tastes his own cum, that is gay” BLAH! I respect everyone’s opinion and I personally don’t think that is gay. So if I run into someone that likes to do those things then hey we can do it together. You can cum in my mouth and suck my tongue if you want to. Shit who cares. I just realize that some people are not as open minded as I am. There seems to be levels to everything. There are always limits, which is not a bad thing. Everyone just has to be honest and respect a person’s likes or dislikes and not be judgmental. Instead of saying something is gay just simply say I am not into that or it’s not for me. Noted. So I say all this to say that sticking a finger, or two, or three inside is still on my to-do list. Trying, learning and mastering the art of milking a mans prostate is on the to-do list.
There have been times when I have wanted to stick my finger inside of a man’s ass (soooo bad) while sucking his balls or while sucking his dick but I refrained from doing so because I didn’t know how they would respond and I did not want to kill the mood. I have viewed videos on milking/massaging the male prostate. This is something that I am interested in trying. I just don’t know anyone who would let me do it. One male told me that it demasculinizes the manhood to receive pleasure from any type of object being inserted inside the anus. I don’t think so.
First off if a male, straight, bi, or gay allowed me to do anything like this no one would never know but him and I. I am very discreet and I think it would be wrong for me to say “yeah girl he let me fist his ass”. Most of my friends don’t even know my current lifestyle now. The ones that do know they just know that I am a slave but they don’t know what it involves. I don’t sit around and say hey I do this and that. When I do speak of my lifestyle I mostly find myself explaining to people the mental aspect of it and the fulfillment I receive and at the end they say, “whatever makes you happy”, end of story.
Most men say “If a man will take a finger up the ass then at some point they will want more, that is gay”. “If a man likes his ass licked, that is gay”. “If a man tastes his own cum, that is gay” BLAH! I respect everyone’s opinion and I personally don’t think that is gay. So if I run into someone that likes to do those things then hey we can do it together. You can cum in my mouth and suck my tongue if you want to. Shit who cares. I just realize that some people are not as open minded as I am. There seems to be levels to everything. There are always limits, which is not a bad thing. Everyone just has to be honest and respect a person’s likes or dislikes and not be judgmental. Instead of saying something is gay just simply say I am not into that or it’s not for me. Noted. So I say all this to say that sticking a finger, or two, or three inside is still on my to-do list. Trying, learning and mastering the art of milking a mans prostate is on the to-do list.
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