Jill Scott - Nothing (my song for today)

I gotta admit sometimes I feel weak for loving you the way I do
It's beyond me
I can't control it or force it to be, you know, what I want it to be
I think about you so much when I'm with you and when I'm not
It's deep, the way, just looking in your eyes just changes my whole perspective
Nothing is more beautiful than loving you, holding you being next to you
Kissing your lips taking my time with you
Nothing is more beautiful than loving you Holding you being next to you
Moving my hips
Moving in time with you
Put of all the things in the world, god gave us to each other
It's amazing
You are the king I always imagined
This is the best time of my life.

Brady Bunch Type

I don't believe in fantasies but for some reason I believe Mr. Brady is out there, feeling exactly the way that I feel. Hopefully our paths cross before my vagina dries up and my teeth fall out. Either way he may not care. I may even have to wait till we are old and gray and we bump into each others wheelchairs at first encounter. Lol. I have been thinking about Mr. Brady for some time and this fool must be in another country cause the path is not even warm. Did the Brady Bunch fam have a dog? Yep I'm gonna have a dog. That shit is not even important. What is important is compatibility and an open mind. This is where it will get interesting. *sighs*

I don't like this feeling. U don't like talking about my most personal feelings. Thank goodness I got a blog out yesterday cause if I had to write another it would be rambling words going in circles.
I don't like the position my feelings are in. Perhaps this weekend that will all change. The goal this weekend is to enjoy myself and do the minimum.

Butta

Today W/we adderd a new addition to O/our toy collection, which reminded me that I didn't share about the last toy that King presented to me.  King surprisedd me with an inflatable anal plug.  I remember telling Him that I wanted one ever since I first saw Kapri Styles in a porno vid three years ago.  Where she expanded her ass and left it gaping for a man's pleasure.

A night of pleasure and pain.  Gagged, pissed on, and bound.  He inserts a plug and I felt the stretching.  I felt that uncormfortable feeling when you have to shit and you can no longer hold it.  I was nervous.  I have experienced anal sex as well as anal plugs before.  Yet this feeling from a sex toy was new.  It felt like I was giving birth.  All mothers know that feeling, I don't need to explain.  *chuckles*

Organs

Every time my walls come down, I feel too vulnerable. So I build my walls back up. I don't ignore my emotions but my brain does not allow my heart to completely take over. My brain remembers all the awesome moments but holds off on resending euphoric feelings from memories.
My body has been under the ultimate challenge of self-control. I would be telling a lie if Monday - Friday my body never wants to give in to temptation. That is not realistic. My brain stops my body from making bad choices. Or is it my heart? They work together. Add my sex organs to only the latter and everything could be a big grand mess. As a woman in this day and age, I listen to what my brain says first. First instinct. Not what my sex and heart says. Too often the brain and heart go back and forth but when you sit still and THINK, the smartest always wins.

I thought last night and then I woke up thinking. I'm always observing, which fuels my thoughts. My brain moves super fast and then spits out a calculated decision. Thank goodness I'm not weak in these areas.
I think today I'll just take some time to myself and limit my socializing. Continue to clear my head, meditate, and stay focused on the main goal.

Discretion

Sitting at my desk playing with this bullet.  Thank You King. *muah* I got carried away and put it on maximum speed to get my clit jumping.  When my thighs no longer muffled the sound, I printed out 25 sheets of blank paper.  The noise from the printer aided with my discretion.  Happy Bitch!

At work

Thursday:
Yesterday I wore a form fitting black dress I felt really sexy and sent King a pic of with my big cheesy smile and gave a little more than my normal headshot. I received a text from King and was told to take off my bra. I complied. I was a little nervous because the type of dress that I had on made it obvious I was not wearing a bra.  I came back to my desk and put my bra inside of my desk drawer.  Concealed from my colleagues.  I went about my day as I normally would but I could not help but to be more conscious to close the sweater I had on across my chest.  I am so glad that it was a little cool in the office.  After lunch, I started running around more but I refused to take my sweater off.  My supervisor called me into his office.  He smiled and asked was I okay.  I had my sweater closed and each side tucked under the opposite arm ensuring it did not mistakenly open.  The only explanation that I gave is that it is a bit chilly in the office and pressed on changing the subject and began discussing the work assignments.  I took a few breaks wearing my sweater through the lobby and took it off once I got to a secluded bench.  It was hot as FAWK yesterday.  I sent King a text saying that my titties were sweating underneath.  I was not allowed to put my bra back on until my day ended at work.  I had a lot of running around to do after work and the idea of walking through Towson mall with my ta-ta’s hanging low was a little bit frightening.

I keep messing up

Dag

I want you to

Embrace my sexuality and sensuality. Fuck my mind and my body...

Let your words tease my imagination. Leave me in a daze in a state of mental masturbation

My favorite word begins with F

What do you desire?

I desire the "F" word.  Yes, King gives IT to me frequently. In fact it just comes naturally.  No forcing or pretending.  Just Be....

Thus far, the most pleasurable and memorable moment was an evening when King blindfolded, gagged and restrained my wrist to the overhead pipes in the basement.  After already being used and punished to His satisfaction, I stood there naked, covered in His urine.  Ass on fire. Unable to see.  Breast wet from drool.  Cheeks stained from tears.  Initially I felt like a "worthless cunt".  Degraded.  After everything that night I felt so humiliated.  I stood before King completely naked and exposed.  Then hearing His voice and a few words I felt beautiful and became immediately aroused.  To hear Him say "...and you are still so beautiful..." was the icing on the cake.  That made the evening complete.  I don't know if I can fully explain the fulfillment one receives from no worries of judgements from your partner.  Comfortable.   Down right nitty, gritty, and dirty.  Not seen in a bad way.  A woman who voices her sexual desires with no shame.  A man who accepts them and brings them to reality along with His own desires with no shame. 

This is FREEDOM