Home (02/25/2011)

In the beginning Master wanted me to come to Him once a month. I will be going home tomorrow *checks calendar* I was there Valentines weekend and if I wasn't bonding with my mom, aunt, cousins nthem I would have been with Master last weekend bonding with Him and training with His fist.
Thank goodness for the bus cuz Eva (my car) would have been burnt out. If I could I would be on the bus every weekend.
I am happy for every moment I get to spend with Master, for the moments to please Him the way He deserves to be pleased. Every moment is a new memory; a new smile. I'm not even there yet and I'm already regretting leaving. That's the hard part. Waking up and knowing I have to leave. But enough of that let me prepare myself to enjoy every moment that W/we will be together. Creating new memories and sharing smiles.

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Sub Sister

first there was one.  then came me. then there were two.
back to one. All is good.
back to two.  it was chill.
CRAZY!!!
back to one.
still one.
getting spoiled.
still one.
getting selfish.
still one.
*sigh* I'm gonna have to start to mentally prepare myself to be back at two.
still one.
a NEW one.
still one.
one day.
-_-
still one.
I did it before I can do it again.
still one.
It's not about me.
still one.
Master's pleasure

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A Jealous Squirter

As much as my breasts squirt out milk my pussy should be jealous because she hasn't squirted in a while.

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Thinking & Driving

My breast feel like my nipples were chopped off and I am driving with open wounds. But I still have the pins on. I tried to put the pins on at the last minute before I walked out of the house but the damn kids were moving slow as shit and I put them on ten minutes too early.
Dropping the kids off was a task in itself. Black bitch kept sliding out my ass into my pussy everytime I got up, in and out of the car. Pulled up to daycare for the first drop off. Please don't let this baby hit my breast. Please oh please oh please! Picked her up and took her in. I made it out safely. I position black bitch and squat back over my seat and sit down so that I can feel her slide back inside of me. One more drop off to go. That went great only because I didn't have to get out of my car. Now off to work and I'm not putting on my seatbelt. But what if I have an accident and the pins get pulled off or impaled in my skin. Hmm? I'll take my chances.
Maybe I'll cut the radio on to take my mind off the pain. Ugh Pretty Girl Rock I'm tired of this damn song. Practicing on my breathing techniques *makes a left*. Damn I'm scared to move my arms. I never drive with two hands. I'm stiff as shit.*relax, relax, relax*. What the hell are these fools talking bout on 95.5? Good my mind is distracted. Now its not. My chest feels like it is on fire. *breathes*
Damn this traffic I might as well be driving Miss Daisy any other day I can zoom to work. I can do this, I can take it. I think my breasts are numb but if they were numb I wouldn't be able to feel the pain. I wish my breast were big enough to fit my nipples in my own mouth so I can suck and soothe them when I get to work and take these pins off. Ugh little ass titties. *makes a right*. Bumpy road *holds boobs* that wasn't too bad. Not even close to work yet, I'm gonna send Master a text. Shit I almost dropped my phone underneath the pedal. If that phone had fell I damn sure wasn't going to bend over and pick it up. I'll put the phone down and wait a little longer.
Okay time to text Him 15 more minutes till I get to work. I internalize Master's words and keep on driving. I refuse to use my safe words at this point. I am almost there. Where is black bitch? She is doing her own thing. I lean forward to push her inside me more to streTCH, STRETCH my ass. Take my focus off my nipples.*makes left* Mmm *makes right*
I flex my sphincter muscles around black bitch as I drive thinking about Him. Thinking about Master my mind is off all of the pain. I smile. I miss Him so much.
I feel a cramp on the right side of my stomach underneath my breast. *bites bottom lip* I am almost there. Master will be happy with some pics as soon as I can get to work to take them.*pulls up to VIP parking* Where the hell is my handicapped card? Great now I have to bend over and search for it. More time, time, time! Wasting time looking for this card so that I won't get a ticket. BREATHE! BREATHE! BREATHE! *exhales* Got it. I hop out my car and go into the building. I hope I don't see anyone that wants to hold on a conversation. Better yet I'll go into the bathroom on the first floor that way I don't have to wait for the elevator. Just the thought of taking these pins off is pain in itself. Taking them off always seem to hurt much more than putting them on. Yes someone is coming out, I try to run and catch the door before it closes. No luck. What better time for my memory to fail me and I forget the access code and locked myself out. Thanks to the security guard I got in. I throw my stuff in the chair and go straight to a stall with some good lighting. Ok, left breast first. That wasn't so bad. Look at that indentation. SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! I look at the pics to find a good one to send to Master. No good I can't really see the redness and the marks in the pics so I take them again. SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! I look at the pics and I feel a shock of pain in my right breast. Keep it moving. Right breast. This one always hurts the most. I squeeze and barely release the pressure and milk squirted out of my nipple. Whoa! I wish Master could have seen that. I can still take a pic of the drops that remain on my nipples. SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! I want to touch them but I don't. I just slide them back in my bra and pat them a little and head to my desk.
I take out black bitch and put in pinky and go about the rest of my day like a good little worker. Even better like a good little slut.

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Training Stepped Up

Today I used my safe word while doing my daily training. This has only happened once before with the BINDER CLIPS O_O. Today I stuck to my diet and I had rest since it was a snow day. To explain why I feel light headed, which has turned into a slight headache, I don't know? I wish I was with Master.
So I had more time as usual and my training lasted longer than it normally would. Pain and pleasure. Then pain, pleasure, and black bitch. Which resulted in pain, pleasure, and pain & pleasure. *Sighs* black bitch she will be getting a cousin soon. The pain lasted what seemed like a long time.
Mmm those clips. The clips left indentations and my skin red. SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! Master liked my marks :D
I was shaking from the pain but I felt good all at the same time.

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Slacker

I have to step it up. PERIOD. POINT. BLANK.

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Hmmm 02/21/2011 @ 4:30

I don't know why people feel they have to lie to me. I would much rather that they don't because I can handle the truth and eventually I find out the truth. I get more mad when I find out that someone has lied to me opposed to when they actually come and tell me the truth upfront.*sigh* I don't know what to do about this shit or how to respond. Should I say anything or not. Hmmm

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(written on) February 17, 2011

No name cause I don't know what the hell this bullshit is.
The past few weeks I've been bored. Ugh. I just want more. I would be silly to think I wouldn't feel like this if I was living in NY because these thoughts just started the past three to four weeks ago. Before I wasn't BORED so why now? When I say more I mean More guidance, more intensity with my training. If I had found that plug last night I probably would be satisfied and focused on conquering it. Well I am satisfied but at times I'm like...idk...don't know the words.
Another problem I have is a thrive for attention. I NEED it. Well I don't need it but I love it who doesn't. I don't like random attention from dudes on the street. I need attention from the people that matter. When I don't get that, that shit sets me on fire and I get pissed then end up saying fuck all of ya'll. I'm trying not to be like that I'm trying to be patient. I have been reading, blogging, and meditating with no resolution. So now what!?

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Swinger

My Master is a swinger and I accept that. When Master says He is horny, I as a slave am frustrated because I am not there to serve Him. I am also frustrated when these broads He fucks still leave Him horny and again I am unable to be there to fix what they have not done. Master pretty much tells me everything so I know when He has been when someone else. Sometimes my sixth sense let's me know before He even tells me. I told Master bout about this last night and how majority of the time when I thought He was fucking He told me the next day that He was. He laughed at my comment. I guess the reason that I am writing this blog is to say I understood Master's lifestyle before He became my Master before He became my Dom. I have my moments when I get jealous when He is with someone else but majority of the time I just want Him to be happy. I just want Him to be COMPLETELY satisfied rather I am there or not. At times I suppose that it is difficult for Him to be satisfied when Master says He specifically wants His slave. I know His full satisfaction will not be received until I am there and He can physically Dominate me. Till He can pee on me, train me, and fist me. Do as He wishes with me; to His slave, His property.

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Inside Joke

Driving to work and I saw a guy walking down the street. He had a macho walk but it didn't seem natural. It seemed like he was forcing to walk a certain way to be perceived by others that he is a tough guy. I don't know. Well regardless if he is or isn't analyzing his walk made me think of Master and how He walks. I have the biggest cheesy ass smile on my face right now. I'm smiling because of the thoughts that I have when I am walking behind Master. I'm watching. I'm analyzing. His walk. His movements. Last week I was laying there watching Him and Master asked what I was doing and I said watching You. When I watch and focus on the way He walks all the nasty thoughts come flooding into my head. Im so bad *chuckles*. I guess that is my little inside thought (joke) that I will keep to myself :D

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In The Middle Of Training...

Don't you just hate it when the battery dies. (the bullet was backup)

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Vanilla

Regular sex is so boring to me. I can not have sex and enjoy it as much as I used to. I can't even masturbate and cum anymore it takes forever. Don't know if this is good or bad but at the moment I am thinking it is ALL bad. If I train and plug my ass and masturbate I can cum in less than a minute. Being spanked before or during sex heightens me. Being choked, hair pulled, and of course plugged while being fucked drives me insane. I fantasize having a knife being dragged down from my neck, over my breasts, across my abdomen, and down to my pussy. Being on my knees while being slowly fucked and feeling a knife glide between my shoulder blades then across my ass. I told Master that I would like to be blindfolded so that I could not anticipate what He would do to me. Actually seeing what is coming...that fear would get my heart racing. Tied up and FORCED to take it all no running; only tears running down my face. Pure ecstasy.*SIGH* I need this. "No sex is required"! I need to be an obedient bitch. I need to be humiliated and controlled. Mentally in awe. This it what gets me going. This it what gets ME wet. This is what gets my cum trail dripping down to my ass. But anyway, this plain Jane sex isn't doing it for me anymore. I mean of course I enjoy sex but afterwards my body feels neglected. My body feels like saying "push me to my limits" and "don't stop". To be fully satisfied my body needs the above as a minimum. Regular sex is boring it is just not enough. My body wants more and moRE and mORE and MORE!

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My Pussy is Ripe

My pussy is so ripe that one nibble will have my nectar dripping down your chin.
Damn I had this cum building up for days. I already know how my body will respond...squirt, gush, loads of cum released. Just this morning I was thinking like a disobedient bitch but I knew not to act on it. I just imagined myself going in the bathroom with Mr. Blue and stimulating my clit until I squirted all over the tub. Master said that I could not and I had to oblige.
All week my pussy was leaking leaving my panties wet. At work I wanted to suck on them and try to get all the nut out the seams of the cotton. Some days having the lace from my thong rub against my clit when I sat and stood up.*shiver* Ahh shit, writing this blog and the vibrations from this bus and highway has my pussy tingling. Damn two more hours. All week I've been fucking and grinding my ass with black bitch; leaking all over her handle and sucking it off. Patting Ms. Kitty to keep her calm. Some days I was a little nervous to train thinking I would squirt by mistake but I didn't. I am able to control my orgasm. Each round I was stimulating my clit watching my pussy muscles jump, crying for attention, begging to be filled, yearning to choke the life out of His dick. She was getting out of control and I had to stop before I came. I slid my fingers between my slit to make sure I hadn't. Good Bitch! is what I heard in my head. The approval I receive from Master. The praise for being obedient. Yes, my pussy is ripe and like they say the older the berry the sweater the juice or as I say the fatter the pussy the more juice. Okay that was corny but hey LOL.

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Misbehaving 02/10/2011

Lately I have been...umm mouthy! Not intentionally just the fact that I am getting too comfortable and forgetting my place when speaking with Master. I need to correct that. I thought a lot of my actions yesterday and the consequences. Punishment and if it continues being a slave with no Master *gasps* the ultimate worst. That was not my first warning :( I have to remember who I am talking to and stop "talking back" and do as I am told. Everything Master tells me to do has a purpose. I know that, I have to remember that, and I have to act like it.

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So Far but So Close

This past week I feel like Master has been here with me eventhough He is hours away. I feel like He is here with me and I am there with Him no space in between us. Just physical distance. He has my mind and spirit and soon He will have my body. My

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Work It Out

On my way to work and all I can think about is hitting the gym. My schedule is a bit hectic but I'm gonna make it happen. My body wants it as much as it needs it. Gotta hit the bike and arms and that row machine which always wipes me out. Gotta be the badd bitch that Master wants me to be. That I want to be. Gotta do it for self first. They say I'm already badd but I'm my worst critic. Gotta keep working it out no slacking. Stay on the eating plan Master laid out for me. Damn I'm pumped to get in the gym its been a few days. I'm really looking forward to it :)

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02/04/2011 - 02/06/2011

The worse weekend ever

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Home

Was sitting at a red light and just saw a man jump off one bus to run for another. My first thought was he was in a hurry to get home. Maybe or maybe not. Either way it made me think that I am in no hurry to go to my house. I am in fact ready to go home. My Brooklyn home that is. What a wonderful feeling that would be to get off of work and actually want to rush home, to relax and enjoy yourself and your company.*sigh* I'm ready to go home.

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Day-to-Day

Just dealing with the everyday responsibilities of life.

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