Inside of His mind

I wonder what King is thinking sometimes. I gather information from what He shares. When we are together, I focus on the now and enjoy the time that we have. Then when I'm sitting at home, I start thinking again...

Self Evaluation

Since my phone crashed last month, I lost all of my text messages dating back to our first conversations along with the dates. I rarely keep dates memorized and if I don't have them written down for reference, I am screwed. I do know our journey began in April 2012.
Over the course of seven months. Trust & communication and a Dom/sub relationship was established. During this time, I took moments to reflect on my progress and if I was meeting not only the tasks and standards that king had but the expectations that I have places on myself.
I feel like I have fallen short of too many things. One is them being blogging on a consistent basis.
No excuses! Just correct it.
I always think that I can do more or do better in regards to my productivity. I definitely don't want it to seem as if I am unappreciative or don't have any respect.
With progression, reflection is needed to make corrections before things become overwhelming. This is what I intend to continue to work at.

I wanted to write a blog today but I am too emotional to do so. I'll come back later.

2 Heads are better than 1

Life is so challenging that alot of times you wonder what will you do.  My answer is keep moving forward.  Do better today than what you did yesterday.  I mean is there any other option.  I believe one can not stay stagnant in the same position.  One must continuously strive towards goals.  Once those goals are obtained, you are not done.  One must maintain and make sure you do not become complacent and slip back down to where you once started.  Continuous movement.  This is what I strive for each day.  Even with my submission, I want to keep moving forward.  I want us to learn new things.  I want us to experience new things together.  In time....
At times, I feel as if life situations place holds or rather slows the progress.  In a way this can be a good thing.  It allows us to veerbally communicate more and understand each other more outside of the D/s lifestyle.  Person to person. Male to female.  Man to woman. 
It was hard for me to open up initially but now I am more comfortable sharing with Him things that I usually keep to myself.  At any given moment if I am asked a question I will give an honest answer but most don't ask the right questions.  He does.  There have been times where I would just pause like dag, how did he know to ask me that.  Then I will share my thoughts.
Today I wish he was here so that I could tal kto him cause I need him right now.  I really do.  I have some of things that are open issues sorted out so when He gets home we can talk about them before I make actions.  As always.  I get the information and bring it to the table for us to discuss and resolve it.  At first that was hard for me to get used to doing but now it doesn't feel right making a move without putting both of our heads together first. I'm patient.  I can wait a few days....He just texted me <3

From Podcast

I listened to this statement several times.  so many people don't understand.  They just don't get it.

"bDsm isn’t violence and it isn’t  abuse.  Its consensual intimate play that’s a living breathing flesh and blood fantasy. It’s a framework and philosophy within which you can safely experience your most primal fantasies. Your most visceral desires and help your playmate experience theirs.  All the while developing a trust and unity that just isn’t possible with vanilla sex.  Submission is a celebration of free will with and search for emotional and sexual release by freely giving up control to someone you trust."

J.V. Altharas

Growth

Grooming myself as a submissive. Listening to bDsm topics via podcasts

I feel like I wasted His time and His gas. Now because I did not listen to His instructions, I know that I did not give Him what He wanted. I feel like such a waste.
Everything was perfect. My ass was clean. Food was ready. I just don't know what my problem was.
I don't think I should ask for anything and I will just wait for His command. No sex, no masturbation, nothing. Unless I am told otherwise.