A Big Grand Mess

I don't even know where to begin. First off I think I'm going to delete my Facebook and Twitter I've been thinking what is really the point.  I rarely socialize with people in person why online.  If I call you or text that is good enough.  Okay that was random. 
I have been such a bad girl :-( I don't know what I was thinking. After I told Master what I have done I wished a had kept my FN mouth shut but then that would have been an omission and to me an omission is a lie and I despise lies.  Coming clean and telling the truth always makes me feel better I just accept the outcome from my actions as an adult and deal.  In this case I accept my punishment and thank Master for it.  I'm still trying to figure out how to carry my punishment out with one good hand and one good side.  I guess I'll figure it out.  I'm just worried that I can't complete my punishment the way Master wants me to.  *sigh* Damn car accident.
I'm feeling like a big grand mess right now.  Sitting here doing what? Not a got damn thing.  Thoughts all fucked up, diet all fucked up, emotions all fucked up.  I don't know what the hell I'm doing right now.  I need to go upstairs and test my swinging arm. It doesn't matter I will push through the pain when I get up there. I need to push myself to be a better slave.  I am always re-evaluating myself and telling myself to do better. I think I am my worse critic yet I don't take criticism well from others.  Hmm?
Master mentioned the possibility of a sister.  I'm going to have to come back to that another time cause that doesn't fall under this "Big Grand Mess blog". My location and my thoughts and emotions (yeah, emotions *rolls eyes*) that I have from being away from Master is a big grand mess and I guess I can tie the sister thing into these thoughts somewhere along the lines but I'd rather not mess with my mind like that cause then that would be all fucked up. 
After this past weekend I just want to distance myself from the family and just move but who knows how long that will all take. 
Once again my thoughts are all jumbled up and all over the place. Damn I need to get focused. No excuses.  Something else for me to work on.